We Don't Always Have to be Adulting

I walk my youngest to the bus stop most mornings. It’s one of the things I missed last year when I was working full-time. As we walk, he’s always really chatty. He wants to learn a new German word every day. He tells me about his friends at school. We laugh and have a good time.

When we arrive, it’s usually buzzing. There are six kids at the bus stop: one first grader, one second grader, and three third graders. There are three girls and three boys. If it’s not too muddy, they play freeze tag or football. Everyone’s welcome to play and usually, they do. Today, one of the girls wasn’t there yet, and another girl said, “Where’s Dakota?” As soon as her mom pulled up, she cheered and greeted her. It’s a happy, friendly little group. And then someone spots the bus coming down the street and someone yells, “Bus!” and all activity stops as they grab book bags and sweetly line up to get on.

I always walk back with a little spring in my step because it’s encouraging to be with young children. I know we all have stories about kids who were mean in elementary school, but this little microcosm of kids brings me hope and makes me wonder what the world would be like if adults were more like kids. Here’s how I think it would be:

We’d include more people.

Kids don’t naturally have the baggage and prejudices many adults carry around with them, so they’re more apt to include others. They see the word as one big game of freeze tag and more people just means a better game. When young kids are exclusive or judgy, they’ve usually learned it from adults or older kids. It’s just not in their nature to draw lines or focus too much on differences. Last year, there was one night a week where three of my four kids had an activity. It was a great time to spend quality time with my one kid who didn’t have anything. So, we came to the library almost every week. He did the scavenger hunt, looked at books, and befriended anyone who was there. If someone walked in while he was playing with the blocks or using the lighted table, he’d invite them over and soon, they’d be playing together. It made me think about the times I’m sitting on the sideline looking at my phone instead of engaging with other parents. I should take a hint from my son who always includes.

We’d wake up ready for the day.

I know these are generalizations and for every ten kids that are early risers, there are probably 2-3 who aren’t. But kids are sort of like dogs in the morning -any little sound and they’re up a raring to go. I know that’s why networks used to play Saturday morning cartoons and maybe why breakfast cereal is such a big market. Parents sometimes need a break from the eagerness of their kids in the morning. If we all woke up like our early-riser kids, we’d be ready to take on the day. Maybe we’d have a better attitude. Maybe we’d have more grace and use kinder words. Maybe we’d look forward to starting the day.

We’d be quick to forgive.

We teach kids to say, “I’m sorry” and it’s great when they start doing it  without prompting. Typically, the other kid will say something like, “It’s ok.” or “I forgive you.” And then they actually do. They go on playing as if nothing happened. As adults, we aren’t so quick to forgive. Maybe we say, “it’s okay”, but we often hold onto things. I don’t mean the serious things that cause trauma and require counseling. I’m talking about that social media comment that’s keeping us up at night and becomes the only thing we can think of when we see the person. I once read, “The most influential person in your life is the one you refuse to forgive.”  That stuck with me. We’re giving that person too much reign. Be like kids and just let it go.

We’d learn more.

There’s a reason people say, “You can’t teach old dogs new tricks.” But if we’re the dogs, we can choose to be open to learning new things. Have you ever worked with someone who refused to learn new things? They want to use only the technology they’re comfortable with which may be a typewriter and home phone. It’s not that they can’t learn new things, they just refuse. I have the kind of Grandma who is 93 and loves Facebook, so I know it’s an attitude rather than an age thing. I love things like, Duo-lingo, Wordle, and Connections because they urge us to keep thinking and keep learning. My son uses our walking to the bus stop time to learn a new German word not because he’s keeping track in some sort of bullet journal but because he just loves to learn and I think we can all take a page out of that book.

This something Jesus taught too. In Matthew 18:3-5, Jesus said “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” We are to see the world with the wonder, energy, and faith of a child. Imagine what our days would look like if we actually did that.

I have four kids and the two youngest are 11 and 9, so I’m still in the thick of being with children daily. If you aren’t in a position currently to be around children, find a way to volunteer or babysit. My two teenagers volunteer in the toddler room at church and Anna teaches dance to younger kids. When I pick them up from time with the littles, they are exhausted, but also energized. They have sweet stories to tell about the cute things the kids did and said. Even as teens, some of that childlike activity has been unlearned, so I’m glad they make time to play with kids.

If you’ve ever bought your kids a toy that was sort of for them and sort of for you, you’re doing this right. Get out the legos and build something. Learn something new. Invite people into your life that aren’t like you. Wake up ready to start a new adventure. Be more like a kid. I think you’ll be happier if you do.

Blessings,

Shannon